Those of the opinion that the bum trumpet could never produce anything more than random blasts and unpredictable notes are totally missing the point of this wonderful instrument. No other instrument allows a musician to truly unleash emotions from deep within. I myself have been reduced to tears after witnessing Lips Donnegan perform "Sooty Cloud" live to an audience of seven. The atmosphere he created was overwhelming.
"But it's just a bloke farting through a trumpet!" I hear some of you cry. No. Your ignorance astounds me. Firstly, it's an entirely different instrument. The mouthpiece has been adapted to rest comfortably over a puckered anus, and there is a special valve on the side to easily clean out any "shit-scale". Furthermore the playing technique is a completely different discipline. The concentration needed to accurately release the right gust at the right time is immense. When you couple that with some highly complex sphincter control for the full range of notes available, you've got yourself a pretty skillful artform.
Plus, if you accidently push a bit of shit out, shows over...
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